Peckerwood Manor

Before anyone gets all up in their feelings about Britney and her issues, let's, as a collective nod, recognize that she has all sorts of problems and accept that we all know it and that it probably, regrettably, won't have a happily ever after. We already know the inevitable ending to these sorts of celebrity life stories. We knew it with Anna Nicole Smith. We knew this about numerous child stars who were irrevocably broken, like Brad Renfro or Amanda Bynes. We know the entertainment industry grinds and chews through tender innocence cruelly and mercilessly, then tosses the carcasses on a trash heap once they have bled the celebrity dry.  We acknowledge that Britney has been a victim of many things at the hands of a callous family, industry vultures, genetics, and enormous greed. We also know she can be self-centered, oblivious, mentally erratic, and lives absurdly untethered to reality. All that said, I find it surprising and remarkable that she did something sort of outrageo

Peckerwood Manor has a complicated history with the popo. Jealous townsfolk sometimes report all kinds of illicit tomfoolery on our grounds, which brings the cops right to our doorstep. Merde! They've never found anything unlawful going on - so far! - just giggles, dancing, elaborate cuisine and a bit of cake baking (if'n you get my drift). It's a minor annoyance to most, but a major one for notorious Manor resident, Crabapple Chloe, the crankiest gal in all of Peckerwood. Lately, she's taken to riding her motor scooter and squirting local police with mustard, which is not only rude, but a terrible waste of a perfectly innocent condiment, according to Cook. This can't continue. Should you next see her riding her scooter near the police, please cry out, "Knock it off, Crabapple Chloe!" or "I've got your number, hussy!" or "Watch it, hor! No Bendy Boyz™ for you tonight!" After which you should immediately report the matter to Mr. Tri

 

Congratulations to the winners of yesterday's Caption This contest!

Nina Simone - American singer-songwriter, pianist, composer, arranger - (1933-2003) Sophie Turner - English actress - 28 Joe Alwyn - English actor - 33 Corbin Bleu - American actor, singer-songwriter, model, producer and dancer - 35 Scout Taylor-Compton - American actress - 35 Ashley Greene - American actress - 37 Elliot Page - Canadian actor - 37 Charlotte Church - Welsh singer-songwriter, actress and tv presenter - 38 Eoin Macken - Irish actor, director and model - 41 Brendan Sexton III - American actor - 44 Tituss Burgess - American actor and singer - 45 Jennifer Love Hewitt - American actress, producer and singer - 45 Jordan Peele - American actor, comedian and filmmaker - 45 Kumail Nanjiani - Pakistani-American stand-up comedian and actor - 46 Nicole Parker - American actress and comedian - 46 Jonathan Cheban - American reality tv personality, entrepreneur, former publicist - 50 Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor - American actress - 55 Billy Baldwin - American actor - 61 Vanessa Feltz

    ► Now that biopics have become the latest Hollywood trend, director Sam Mendes has signed on with Sony Pictures to create FOUR biopics about the Beatles.  Each movie will tell the story of the band's rise to super stardom from the perspective of each band member. If you're under the age of 40 and don't know who the Beatles are, they are probably the most famous band ever. The four members were John Lennon, George Harrison, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr. The movies are scheduled for a 2027 release. Mendes will direct and produce each of them.  Read More   Sam Mendes. Photo: Leon Bennett/Getty/Hollywood Reporter.com The Beatles (John, Ringo, Paul, and George). Photo: Rolling Stone.com   Comment: This isn't the first time a biopic about the Beatles has been made. Peter Jackson made one about 2-3 years ago; and Ron Howard directed one for Hulu a while back.  However, this will be the first time 4 separate movies about each member will be made. I'm a huge Beatles

Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Asparagus Pee! Hello from the land of Asparagus Pee! I know you all know how to suq diq...but do you know how to Disqus?  Lucky you, I’m here to help. Today I’m going to give you some quick tips and tricks to make your comments more interactive, and answer some frequently asked questions about the platform we affectionately call Dicksux, its features, and how to make them work for you. So stick around and I’ll give you the down and dirty on Tagging, Blocking, and Adding Pics and GIFs. TAGGING:  So you wanna tag a Pecker in your comment? There are a couple ways to do this, depending on where you’re viewing from. If you’re on your computer or on your phone in "Desktop Mode" you can type @ in the comment box and the people currently active in the thread will pop up. Select who you’re looking for and it’ll tag them for you.  If that

It's bad days for Chad Keith and Rebecca Duncan. The Colorado couple has either been convicted on federal weapons charges (Keith) or is awaiting trial on them (Duncan). The added layer of salaciousness to this story is that they are also being accused of planning to build a white supremacist school in Fremont County, CO. Guns and white supremacists do NOT go well together, as history has taught us, so good on the feds for doing what they can about that. Also, I object that any rando can just build a school and teach the youth of our country whatever random crap they want to teach them. Why bring this up in an Open Post? Because I noticed they were planning to build their school in Fremont County. If you don't know Colorado, that means their "school" would have been just south of South Park (yes, it's a real place) and just west of the Federal Supermax Prison. It...just didn't seem like an ideal location to be a lowlife scumbag. Palate cleansing picture of the

 

Congratulations to the winners of yesterday's Caption This contest!

Kurt Cobain - American musician, singer-songwriter, founding member of Nirvana - (1967-1994) Olivia Rodrigo - American singer-songwriter and actress - 21 Jack Falahee - American actor and singer - 35 Rihanna - Barbadian singer-songwriter, businesswoman and actress - 36 Daniella Pineda - American actress - 37 Miles Teller - American actor - 37 Julia Volkova of t.A.T.u. - Russian singer - 39 Trevor Noah - South African comedian, writer, producer and tv host - 40 Justin Verlander - American professional baseball player - 41 Lauren Ambrose - American actress - 46 Jay Hernandez - American actor - 46 Chelsea Peretti - American comedian, actress, tv writer, singer-songwriter - 46 Brian Littrell - American singer and member of the Backstreet Boys - 49 Andrea Savage - American actress, comedian and writer - 51 k-os - Canadian rapper and singer-songwriter - 52 Calpernia Addams - American actress, musician, spokesperson and activist - 53 Jason Blum - American film and tv producer - 55 Andre

    ► American Idol 2007 winner, Jordin Sparks, is embarking on a campaign to take over judging duties for Katy Perry on American Idol.  Katy announced last week she's uncoupling from the show to concentrate on making new music. Um, no one is asking for Katy to make new music...whatever. Anyway,  Jordin went on Twitter with the enthusiasm of an intern hoping to land a full time job by posting this: Read More “Oh hiiii @AmericanIdol—I hear a seat opened up at the judges table! I’m putting my name in the hat!” Sparks, 34, posted on X Feb. 16. Jordin Sparks/ Photo: GC Images / Page Six.com   Comment: Jordin was 17 years old when she won American Idol. I think she's a very good singer and has had a successful career in the industry. IMO, I think she will be a good judge. At least better than Katy Perry. All Katy did was ogle at male contestants while acting like a kid who ate too many Smarties at summer camp.  ► After 2+ decades of getting consumers hooked to online shopping like

We have some unusual residents at Peckerwood, so we also deserve some unusual animals in our sanctuary. Yes, we have unveiled our Peckerwood Animal Sanctuary with a center for wildlife and unusual animals that may be going extinct because people are assholes. Let us count the billion ways in which people are assholes - but not now because this is exciting news!  Before our Flying Fox, Megabat, arrives, we should know a little more about this fruit bat to keep him happy. He only eats fruity things but not people, so Caza is safe. Whew. He loves the nightlife, so we need to keep the music thumping at Club PW so he can shake his booty with the insomniacs who gather nightly and take turns being DJs. Some people aren't allowed to DJ and you know who you are. No one is into Balkan folk speed metal disco at 3 in the morning, and you know who you are ! Didn't you know they were doing this after-hours club?  If you didn't, you must be one of those energetic residents who get up at t

 

  Seal - British musician, singer-songwriter and record producer - 61 Millie Bobby Brown - British actress - 20 David Mazouz - American actor - 23 Victoria Justice - American actress and singer - 31 Luke Pasqualino - British actor - 34 Jayde Nicole - Canadian model and businesswoman - 38 Haylie Duff - American actress and singer - 39 Arielle Kebbel - American actress and model - 39 Beth Ditto - American singer-songwriter - 43 David Gandy - English fashion model - 44 Gideon Yago - American writer and former tv news correspondent - 45 Eric Lange - American actor - 51 Bellamy Young - American actress, producer and singer - 54 Cynthia Bailey - American model, reality tv personality and actress - 57 Benicio Del Toro - Puerto Rican actor - 57 Justine Bateman - American actress and filmmaker - 58 Jessica Tuck - American actress - 61 Leslie David Baker - American actor - 66 Helen Fielding - English novelist and screenwriter - 66 Ray Winstone - English actor - 67 Jeff Daniels - American

In the canine universe, Dalmatians are the equivalent of a classic black-and-white film—timeless, charming, and full of personality and character. With their distinctive white coats accessorized with distinctive black spots, these pups are born to stand out like superstars, full of charisma, the kind of dogs that don't just have an interesting nature; they have a presence . The origins of the Dalmatian are shrouded in mystery. They're named after Dalmatia, a region that was once part of Austria, but their true origins are elusive and hard to pinpoint. These striking dogs have had more careers than Barbie: coach dog, war sentinel, circus performer, and the favorite firehouse mascot. In the past, they ran alongside horse-drawn fire engines, acting as the original siren and equine therapists all in one because they kept the horses calm and focused.  Dalmations are the Olympic marathon runners of the dog world, with enough stamina to multi-task and run their owners into the ground